Tulisa’s New Music Video Doesn’t Feature Any Pink Tractor Beams

Fresh from her leaked sex tape scandal the Queen of Chavs and pop songstress Tulisa Contostavlos has somehow managed to push shame and humiliation to one side, to concentrate on the release of her new single and music video for We Are Young, which has the lyrics: ‘Forgive me for what I have done.’  Convenient eh?

The video features what has to be one of the single most exciting days ever recorded in history. Tulisa sings that being young means you live life on the edge without compromise and aptly demonstrates so by leaving her luggage by the side of the road, riding in a convertible car without a seatbelt, stealing a tiny, disease-ridden baby goat, sitting on an old couch soaked in tramp’s piss under a motorway, jumping up and down in an Ikea showroom, strutting about a Morrison’s car park in high heels, slapping an engorged, meaty member across her forehead  and painting her nails. The London Riots have nothing on this girl.

And the good news for every track-suited, Doritos party bag eating family in Britain is that Tulisa will return as a judge on this year’s X Factor, thanks to Simon Cowell and his merciful high-waisted trousers. KFC family failure buckets all round!

The Female Boss adding some much needed pazazz to her local Morrison's car park.