We love Charlie Brooker, not because he’s a great writer but because he is a fuming, angry mess of a man who dislikes or hates pretty much everything.
The latest topic to boil Brooker’s kettle is the UK government’s proposal to increase the national speed limit on motorways throughout the country to 80mph, (it currently sits at 70mph). Why? Well because some completely out of touch and possibly drunk minister thinks that by getting people to travel faster on the roads means they’ll get to their individual destinations quicker, therefore shorter journey times for everyone and more time spent at work, which will in turn boost the nation’s economy and save us all from a life of poverty and prostitution. Huzzah!
Here’s just a juicy snippet of Brooker’s rant:
When I become minister for transport, I’ll introduce a new motorway lane specifically designed for 19th-century horse-drawn hay carts – a lane that criss-crosses all the other lanes at random intervals. I’d also position a sniper on every bridge and instruct them to blow the head off anyone who looks like they’re getting a bit of speed up. Or anyone who looks like they’re enjoying the road a bit too much for my liking. Or anyone listening to an album I hate. Or wearing a loud shirt. Or who might be Sagittarian.
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