Avast! Trailer For John Carter…Conan Of Mars.

A four-armed green Martian who probably isn't called Marvin.

Ignore the unbelievably boring and dull title for this flick, (this was probably decided upon by some peanut brained movie exec who obviously thought that John Carter Of Mars was too long a title and MTV’d it’s ass), as this is the first look at an incredibly ambitious project to bring the works of Edgar Rice Burroughs to the big screen.

John Carter, directed by Pixar animations stalwart Andrew Stanton and starring Taylor Kitsch, who played Gambit in that f@cking awful Wolverine movie, Willem Dafoe, Mark Strong, Bryan Cranston  and Lynn Collins, who played Kayla Silverfox in that f@cking awful Wolverine movie, is based on the first John Carter story penned by Borroughs, (Princess Of Mars), which was first serielised in 1912.

The film’s official synopsis is as follows:

John Carter is an American Civil War veteran who is transplanted to Mars (Barsoom) where he discovers a diverse planet whose inhabitants include 12-foot tall green barbarians. Formerly an Earthlike world, Barsoom became less hospitable to life due to its advanced age: as the oceans evaporated, and the atmosphere thinned, the planet devolved into partial barbarism with the inhabitants hardened and warlike, fighting one another to survive. Along his journey he meets Tars Tarkas and rescues a humanoid Red Martian princess, Dejah Thoris, from the belligerent four-armed Green Martians, whose respect he gains for his superior strength and fighting ability. He enlists the Green Martians’ assistance in winning a civil war, and saves Mars from destruction when its atmosphere plant malfunctions.