Kelvingrove Park Part Deux?

For those of you living outside of Scotland you will have missed most of the misplaced excitement which took place in Glasgow’s Kelvingrove Park on Royal Wedding Friday.

Apparently John Gardner and Robbie Seath, inspired by the nuptials of two complete strangers in fancy dress, decided to celebrate the occasion by inviting a few of their mates along for a piss up in the city’s Kelvingrove Park. They, like every other narcissist these days, publicly posted up their plans on social networking site Facebook and before long over 4,000 people turned up, with enough booze to anaesthetise Lindsay Lohan. Of course as there were no immediate distractions to divert the attentions of the drunken many, things quickly started to go pear shaped when the police turned up to move people on.

The Daily Record reports today that:

Bottles were hurled at police by drunken neds* in the 4000-strong crowd and mounted police were sent in to try to restore order. Eleven cops were injured and 21 people were arrested. It cost Glasgow City Council a fortune to clean up the park, and council sources told the Record Gardner and Seath are likely to be chased for around £40,000.

A taxi driver was also severely injured and is, according to local press, still critically ill in hospital.

You would think that would be that, what with the violence, public disorder and a 65 year-old man fighting for his life. But apparently not, as yet another unofficial piss up is currently being planned on Facebook courtesy of a William Brown who is organising a second gathering of mouth breathers in Kelvingrove Park, this time to celebrate the death of terrorist Osama Bin Laden, (at least he’s up with current affairs). In William’s own words: ‘He’s deed. Let’s all get pished in Kelvingrove. Invite your pals.’ Since we started typing this post 7,679 people had confirmed they would be attending La Grande Festival of Knuckle Draggers next Friday.

Maybe it’s because we view life with cynicism from the deck of our glorious vessel, but we really are truly failing as a species.

* Non-Educated Delinquents.

UPDATE: Apparently this Facebook page has since been deleted.

 

Comments

  1. In Michael’s own words: ‘He’s deed. Let’s all get pished in Kelvingrove. Invite your pals.’

    my names not michael, shite journalism.

    1. William Brown's Loverboy says:

      best cunt

    2. Anonymous says:

      Fair enough caught us on a typo. We’ve sorted it by using a delete button. Have you got a delete button for the wave of shite that’s about to hit you in the coupon come Friday?

  2. I heard its hard for journalists to spot jokes. Silly cunt.

    1. Anonymous says:

      The joke is on you mate. We’re not journalists, we’re pirates.

  3. Robbieseath says:

    I think the way you talk about me and JJ is disgusting. There was ample time for us to be stopped by both council and police, yet instead we met with police on the morning of the event and got the go ahead. They said, and i quote “the event will be policed appropriately”. We warned people on the facebook page that it was a public park and that it is illegal to drink in public. I am also extremely annoyed at this william character who is trying to rise to fame in the most idiotic manner on facebook. There is alot of false journalism in this article which shall be getting picked up on soon.

    Robbie.

    1. info@thedofc.com says:

      First of all Robbie if you’re annoyed we reffered to you and John as plebs then we do apologise. Secondly…? Well what else is there in the piece that you have been so offended by? The quote from The Record? The fact that there were arrests? The fact that a man is still critically ill in hospital? The fact it cost the council a small fortune to cover the clean-up? Maybe instead of pointing the finger of blame at people like us, or the police, or the council you should really just man up and take a portion of responsibilty over the event yourself. Just for the record did you or John traipse down to Kelvingrove to help clear the park up the next day?

    2. Anonymous says:

      First of all Robbie if you’re annoyed we referred to you and John as plebs then we do apologise. Secondly…? Well what else is there in the piece that you have been so offended by? The quote from The Record? The fact that there were arrests? The fact that a man is still critically ill in hospital? The fact it cost the council a small fortune to cover the clean-up? Maybe instead of pointing the finger of blame at people like us, or the police, or the council you should really just man up and take a portion of responsibilty over the event yourself. Just for the record did you or John traipse down to Kelvingrove to help clear the park up the next day?

      1. Robbieseath says:

        We had a clean up team organised for after the event but we were all refused entry into the park by police that night. Someone also organised a cleanup group for the next day but the council already got there early in the morning (and hats off to mackeybhoy1 on youtube for his incredible attitude towards it, still to contact him).
        I turned up on saturday with 1 other friend and was knee deep in the river fishing bottles out.
        Me and JJ are not complete idiots, a lot went down after the event which changed a lot of things for us.

      2. Robbieseath says:

        and my thoughts are with the taxi driver, although that was completely nothing to do with us.

        1. Anonymous says:

          Why don’t you contact us Robbie on hmsfriday@gmail.com and we’ll send you some questions and you can have your say, clear the air and correct some of the wrongs you feel have been perpetuated about you and John in the mainstream press about the whole affair. That way your words won’t be taken out of context. Just an opportunity for people to hear your side of the story. We’ll post the entire interview up on here and we’ll send a link to all the Scottish based media outlets so they too are aware of the details which, as you claim, have so far been ignored in news reports. Can’t say fairer than that.

          Before you suggest that we are trying to capatalise on your story for our own agenda, know that we are making this suggestion because we were, as probably everyone else was, unaware of the fact you were refused entry to clean the park up and that the local authorities confirmed that the event would be policed appropriately.

  4. Omarrrr. says:

    I think it is a little cynical of you to be so harsh on the two lads who stuck the original event on facebook, afterall that’s all they did, I’m sure they didn’t expect the waves of shite that showed up on the day to make an appearance. With hindsight I’m sure they are pretty gutted with how things turned out but it says more about our Scottish society as a whole that it does about them. People just generally do not give a shit about others, and our relationship with drink is really quite shameful.

    They did say on the page that they wanted everybody to be considerate, they were in contact with the authorities beforehand and, as one of them has said below, they did try to clean up after themselves. Obviously they should shoulder some of the blame but I’m sure they’ve been hearing it over and over for the past few days and don’t need it rubbed in by somebody behind a keyboard.

    The Osama party really was disgusting though, really makes you sigh when you see stuff like that.

    1. Anonymous says:

      You’re right it was a little cynical of us, but we did mention at the bottom of the post that we are a sardonic bunch. Maybe we shouldn’t spend so much time at sea.

  5. Miss Atticus Finch says:

    I doubt two guys who put an event up on facebook should be held responsible for the actions of thousands of people “mostly in their teens and twenties”, i know how to behave appropriately and i’m in this age bracket.. should my peers not be held to this standard too? No one expects that from the organisers of T in the Park or Rockness, i know they are far larger scale events but in those cases it wouldn’t even be considered to be an organisers responsibility. EVEN MORE SO when the 3 that ended up in court were 21, 30 and 46. Seriously, what is the world coming to when the buck is passed to two guys who obviously had no intention of ruining Kelvingrove park forever.. you’d have to be a serious dickhead to actually want that.

    I’m really not surprised outspoken “journalists” on the internet have jumped on the bandwagon of hate which is currently riding around Scotland, picking people up at any available stop. How about we stop this blame culture and let people take responsibility for their own actions, i.e. those who littered the park, those who threw bottles at police and their ponies and most importantly the person who stabbed someone. Bet your next blog will be about how this party helped incite sectarianism in Glasgow or “Kelvingrove Party – An Interview with a Bottled Horse”.

    Finally, about the second party – “at least he’s up with current affairs” if that was a dig at the original street party was there anything more current than the royal wedding happening that day?! pretty sure no one heard of it.

    1. Anonymous says:

      Miss Atticus Finch, (what a lovely name btw), we didn’t actually say that we held the two responsible, if you read the article again you’ll notice that we mention the pair initially invited ‘a few of their mates…’ and then conclude by adding ‘…before long 4,000 people turned up.’

      At no point did we mention age or even refer to or single out a particular age bracket throughout the entire post, we didn’t even mention the ages of Gardner or Seath. If anything we were motivated to write this article not about the initial party at Kelvingrove, which we would have posted on the Saturday, but because somebody was trying to organise a second event which appeared to have the potential, (final count of confirmed invites was around 12,000), for chaos on a far greater scale.

      As for us being ‘outspoken journalists jumping on the bandwagon of hate’, we feel that’s a bit harsh, we usually post stuff about movie trailers, games, pop culture and cute kittens who enjoying chasing their own reflections in mirrors. We have zero interest in religion, bigotry or sectarianism and as far as we know horses to date are still incapable of speech.

      Finally our comment – ‘at least he’s up with current affairs’, was in no way reference to the first party. We were awarding the organiser of the second party some sarcastic praise for knowing what was going on in the world, even though on the surface he appeared to be a complete moron.

      1. Miss Atticus Finch says:

        I was chillin’ with Boo Radley today and he told me that sometimes I like to argue too much. I like kittens, especially cute ones. Midnight commenting brings out the cranky in most of us, I think my comment, which was meant to be a little bit more tongue in cheek in places than it actually came out as, was a bit harsher than intended.

        ONE LAST POINT – If you ever do find a horse that can talk, it’s definitely worth a blog!